All I Want for Chrismas Is a Dukla Prague Away Kit

There was one in the gang
who had skaletrix
and because of that he thought he was better than you
Everyday after school
you’d go round there to play it
hoping to compete for some kind of championship
but it always took about 15 billion hours to set the track up
and even when you did
the thing never seemed to work
It was a dodgy transformer
again and again
A dodgy transformer
again and again
It was a dodgy transformer
again and again
A dodgy transformer
that cost 3 pound ten
So you’d send his doting mother up the stairs with a stepladder
to get the subbuteo out of the loft
It had all the accesories
required, nothing much atmosphere
the crowds and the dugouts
and the floodlights too
You’d always get palmed off with a headless center forward
and a goalkeeper with no arms
and a face like his
And he managed to get hold of
a Dukla Prague Away Kit
'cause his uncle owned a sports shop
and he kept it to one side
and after only five minutes
you’d be down to ten men
'cause he’d sent off your right-back
for taking the base from under his left winger
And cut to half-time
you were losing four-nil
each and every goal a heartly diputed penalty
so you’d smash up the floodlights
and the match was abandoned
and the dog would bark
and you’d be banned from his house
and your travelling army of sedated supporters
would be taken away from you and thrown in the bin
Now he’s working in a job with a future
he hand’s me my Giro
every two weeks
and me I’m on the lookout for a broken transformer
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