Gwarnography

Eons ago!
From across the universe
The Chaos Lords assembled
Ruthless, perverse
Serving the Master
In his murderous crusade
But we became a threat
And so we were betrayed!
(Betrayed!)
Betrayed
That fucking asshole
That’s right, he feared our might
Appalled our cosmic crimes
Banished us to planet Earth
The worst that he could find
So we did what we could
To tolerate this place
We coupled with the ape
And formed the human race
(And that was the stupidest thing I ever did…)
And so we did begin
To use man as a slave
To entertain us
From his cradle
To the grave
Civilizations
They did build for us to crush
Their flesh so easy
Their blood so quick to gush
(Mmmm…gushing blood
Delightful!)
Their skulls turn to mush
(Delicious!)
Eins, zwei, drei, vier!
The Master soon became enraged
He sent his sordid army
To lock us in a cage
Imprisoned in the frozen waste
Until Martini freed us
With a smile on his face
He told us that he had a plan
How we could rule the world
As a heavy metal band!
Sex and drugs and Rock 'n Roll
(Would) soon become a source of power!
Power!
Power! Power!
Power!
Power!
(We are the Scumdogs of the Universe)
(We are the Scumdogs of the Universe)
We are the Scumdogs of the Universe
We are the Scumdogs!
We battled Yig and Cardinal Syn
Gor-Gor kept on coming
But we triumphed in the end
Edna Granbo did her best
Skulhedface, the mental case
That failed with all the rest
Even Satan was no match
And all of the Destructos
Got a swift kick in the snatch
Quite a history, no doubt
In any case, I’m sure I’m leaving something out…
So there you have it
It’s quite a tale to tell
We’ve come all the way from Heaven
And have gone all the way to Hell
Bow before your Masters
And perhaps we’ll let you live
Just long enough to squeeze out
Every drop you have to give
GWARnography
GWARnography
The number one band from Antarctica!
The only band from Antarctica!
Genius!