My History

My history surrounds me
And it’s closing in around my bed
And all I have known
Has turned to sticks and to stones
But these words are wandering/a dream/would ring in my head
I’ve got you paper for ten
Not the kind tradition meant
But the kind that says
I’m walking out that door
And my heart breaks in two
A little for me and a little for you
Still this thing
Is just the thing I’ve got to do
For so long I was on my own
Seeking shelter from what I’ve known
Like the last leaves of the fall’s last embrace
Waiting for it all to drop
Like a big new year’s ball
With just a past and a song for the lost
I’ve got you paper for ten
Not the kind tradition meant
But the kind that says
I’m walking out that door
And my heart breaks in two
A little for me and a little for you
Still this thing
Is just the thing I’ve got to do
Now the glass has filled with sand
I look down and don’t know my own hands
I thought that surely the answers would be revealed
We’d know it’d all been for the better
The hurt’s past like a forgotten winter
But I’m haunted by these words instead
When I say it
I’ve got you paper for ten
Not the kind tradition meant
But the kind that says
I’m walking out that door
And my heart breaks in two
A little for me and a little for you
Still this thing
Is just the thing I’ve got to do
Still this thing is just the thing that I’ve
It’s just the thing that I’ve gotta do