Apprehension

I still feel apprehensive
To go on with the way I live
I always forget the person I really am
I always forget I’m a person outside my head
But I can’t really kill myself yet
It’s fucked up that I would even consider it
I just live with all this apprehension
Others know I’ll always have my compassion
And that’s sad, i’m worth more than that
To be thinking constantly
To be worrying, of everything
Even the thoughts that bother me
And what that says 'bout me as a person
I always try my best not to question it
Why the fuck do I have to question it?
When I clearly don’t even fuck with that?
I don’t want to make my mom cry
I don’t want to make my grandma cry
I don’t want to make the homies cry
I don’t want to make my brother cry
I don’t want to make my sisters cry
I don’t want to make my nephew cry
I don’t want to make myself cry
I don’t want to make my girlfriend cry