Vacation

I don’t know how to be
What I wanted to be when I was five
Sometimes blue eyes, sometimes green
Bike rides, snow hikes, and Christmas lights
Sometimes freezing, sometimes warm
I don’t know if I can love that anymore
Cause I’ve got it all, got it all mistaken
For meaningful life and a fun family vacation
Like when I used to ride rollercoasters with my dad
When a swimming pool in a hotel was a gift from God
Like love or like a family
I don’t know how to be
Maybe I just want to get married
Or maybe I just want to fall asleep
But at l least I know that the world is spinning when we’re tangled in the
bedsheets
And at least I know that my mom is breathing when we talk on the phone
And at least I know that my house won’t burn down, down to the ground
Or maybe it will
If I’ve been in love before, and I’m pretty sure I have
Then I’m pretty sure my house could burn down
Down to the ground tomorrow
If I’ve been in love before, and I know that I have
Then I know that my house could burn down
Down to the ground tomorrow