House Detective

You climbed up the drainpipe
And I climbed up the ladder in your?
We are back from the river where
The midgets deliver their bites
Jealousy’s a pit
And I see that you have it in spate
Try and cut the power line to our kingdom
With some corner shop razor blades
If you ever, if you ever
Come back this way
Don’t be clever, dull your senses
Your senses and stay
I know your sails are wide open
And you wait for the gale
I’d rather be in the inkwell
Than lost in the mail
I threaten you with an umbrella
With a poison tip
Then you produce a blowtorch
To the hair above my lip
The neighbours gather round, they say
The boy’s not looking great
Well stick around fellas I can punch
Above my weight
If you ever, if you ever
Come back this way
Don’t be clever, dull your senses
Your senses and stay
I know your sails are wide open
And you wait for the gale
I’d rather be in the inkwell
Than lost in the mail
Everybody’s saying that you sister
Is a big girl
She stops me in my tracks
She has a voice like a river?
There’s a rumour goin around that you’ve been
Talking to the house detective