You and Me in My Pocket (I Sometimes Wish You Were a Mermaid)

I wish you smelled a little funny
Not just funny really bad
We could roam the streets forever
Just Iike cats but we’d never stray
I sometimes wish you were a mermaid
I could raise you in the tub at home
We could take a swim together
On weekly day trips to the bay
Oh-oh you and me
It’d be only you and me
Oh-oh you and me
It’d be only you and me
You and me
I wish you were a little bigger
Not just big but really fat
Doors you would no longer fit through
In my bed you would have to stay
I often wish that you had feathers
I’d keep you in a giant cage
All day long I’d sit and watch you
I’d sing for you and that would be okay
Oh-oh you and me
It’d be only you and me
Oh-oh you and me
It’d be only you and me
You and me
People say there are plenty of fish
In the sea, baby, all I do is wish
I wish, I wish, I wish you were a little slower
Not just slow but pa- pa- pa- paralyzed
Then I could plug you into a socket
So you could never run away
I really wish that you were smaller
Not just small but really really short
So I could put you in my pocket
And carry you around all day
Oh-oh you and me
It’d be only you and me
Oh-oh you and me
It’d be only you and me
You and me
You and me