A Funeral Party

«…a most extraordinary circumstance that took place on Friday night,
the 31s​ t​ October 1828, in a House in the West Port, Edinburgh,
where an old Woman of the name of Campbell is supposed to have been Murdered,
and her Body Sold to a Medical Doctor.» — ​Edinburgh​ ​Broadsheet​ 3r​ d​ of
November, 1828
«Up the close and doun the stair
But and been with Burke and Hare
Burke’s the butcher, Hare’s the thief
Knox the boy that buys the beef» — ​19t​ h​ century Edinburgh skipping rhyme
Hare: ​Follow me to my humble lodging
What’s mine is yours, such as it may be
Dr. Knox: ​Enjoy the hospitality, soon you’ll be cold dead anatomy
Hare: ​Along the narrow, crooked wynd
Then through the close, this house you’ll find
Dr. Knox: ​So many honored guests to fete, always an empty bed to let
Chorus: ​A funeral party
Hare: ​Drink up, the hour is growing late
Chorus: ​A funeral party
Dr. Knox: ​The fete will end when you meet your fate
Hare: ​Here you may rest from your journeys
And warm your bones with a dram of whiskey
Dr. Knox: ​Drink to what’s left of your health, soon you’ll be another corpse
to sell
Hare: ​Intoxicated, the room starts to spin
And at that moment our night work begins
Dr. Knox: ​Quietly asphyxiate, you see your end, but far too late
Chorus: ​A funeral party
Burke: ​Drink up, the hour is growing late
Chorus: ​A funeral party
Dr. Knox: S​ tuff the carcass in a crate
Narrator: ​All revels must come to their end
So for the constable the tenants send
False friends meet most unpleasant ends
The corpus delicti now made evident
Solo — Matthew Harvey
Solo — Michael Burke
Solo — Matthew Harvey
Chorus:​ A funeral party
Burke: ​Step inside and have a quaff
Chorus: ​A funeral party
Hare: ​Where guests soon shuffle off
Chorus: ​A funeral party
Narrator: ​Protests of innocence rebuffed
Chorus: ​A funeral party
Narrator: ​The life of the party — snuffed