Deadness

I know I’m intruding on your life, not you on mine.
I felt as if things were becoming a bit clearer earlier on,
but can now see everything falling to pieces before my eyes.
I’m paying dearly for past mistakes.
I never realized how one mistake in my life
some four or five years ago would make me feel how I do.
I struggle between what I know is right in my own mind
and some warped truthfulness as seen through other people’s eyes
who have no heart and can’t see the difference anyway.
Is everything so worthless in the end?
Is there anymore?
What lies beyond?
What’s left to carry on? (Control)