The Finer Things

BLANCHE
You have such exquisite taste
Chinese Chippendale
Walls swathed in festoons of silk
Such ornate detail
But there’s one thing that is not in this hall
Edward — this house could use a wife!
We’re lucky to live
In the great age of elegance
Poetry, opera and art
Sparing no expense
Rembrandt and Breughel and Bosch
In this room
With a rug from Chen Chou
That spent a thousand days on the loom
These are the finer things
And what is finer than a bride?
Pleasure and luxury
That only marriage can provide
The innuendo is implied
Chateau Lafitte twenty-eight
Oh! The perfect drink!
So much more drinkable now
Than last year, I think
Make no mistake
Like the taste of the wine
When it comes to a woman
You must scrutinize the vine
These are the finer things
And she must have what is her due
Priceless engagement rings
A family jewel, or maybe two
And, but of course, my darling — you!
Mozart and Schumann and Bach
Wrote the finest notes
Every cadenza delights
Every cadence floats
Music is glorious
But I declare
When it comes to a woman
Schumann just cannot compare
These are the finer things
That only beauty can supply
These are the finer things
And what’s more beautiful than I?
For not a soul could give you more
Arpeggios and trills
Frolics and frills
Soon you will see
Of all your things
The very finest thing
Is me!