Loyal

Does he ever close a single bottle?
Does he know the sweet secret recipe?
Does he work regular shifts full throttle?
Does he work for dough or philanthropy?
Sometimes the coincidence is really funny
Because this success; something no one could foresee
You’re the example of what marketing should be
You are Coca Cola’s most loyal employee
Since 1931 you’re a healer
You’re the world’s most famous cocaine dealer
Does he go to the job by bus or sleigh?
Does he ever meet colleagues after work?
Does he just ever skip a single day?
Does he believe his boss to be a dork?
Sometimes the coincidence is really funny
Because this success; something no one could foresee
You’re the example of what marketing should be
You are Coca Cola’s most loyal employee
Since 1931 you’re a healer
You’re the world’s most famous cocaine dealer
But Santa, dude; you just ain’t that funky
Cause your job is to make us a junkie
Your mission is sweet; you made us into
Sugar addicts who are obese… like you
Since 1931 you’re a masked soul keeper
Cause you’re the world’s most celebrated Grim Reaper