This One's for All the Presents

I don’t trust a single season
Where the birds fly away in fear
You know the snow is trying to kill you
So excuse the lack of holiday cheer
A bit more bourbon in my eggnog
I’ll meet you under the mistletoe
I like the way you fit in that ugly sweater
Like Santa says baby ho ho ho
Christmas
Let’s keep on singing on
Christmas
Forced to visit family
Christmas
Let’s pretend that Santa’s real
Christmas
Maxed out my credit card
Christmas
Let’s keep on singing on
Christmas
Last minute shopping
Christmas
Only time I go to church
Christmas
I can never find any goddamn parking
This verse is for all the presents
Underneath the Charlie Brown tree
If I could be a little kid again
My whole Christmas would be free
You know that Santa’s got it easy
He’s got those reindeer that can fly
If only Uncle Chuck was so lucky
He wouldn’t have worry about a DUI
Christmas
Keep on singing on
Christmas
Crappy Christmas music
Christmas
My back hurts from shoveling
Christmas
Ugh I drank too much cough syrup
Christmas
Let’s keep on singing on
Christmas
Black Friday pepper spray
Christmas
Uh, I, uh, wasn’t ready
Christmas
But I’m okay with Hanukkah
Christmas is now completely over
All the presents are unwrapped
Gotta wake up early tomorrow
To return half of this crap
Christmas isn’t all that bad
Even though I like to complain
You could spend Christmas all alone
So don’t take your family and friends in vain