Makin' Dough

There appears to be a movement in this culture we call ours
For some quickness and convenience when it comes to eating flour
There are many transmutations, many shapes that wheat is sized in
And as many folks who eat it as are things it is disguised in
One such kind, the doughnut, is a favorite of the masses
Who flock to local doughnut shops to fatten up their, come on, I would never use
a word like that when there are children present
Though the words they hear and use at school may not be all that pleasant,
either
Right here on nature’s sandy arm the Fleming family did commence
The preparation of this treat for which they rose to prominence
With elbows jostling torsos every morning, booties shaking
Where the local crowd would gather to partake of their fine baking
Boston cremes and honey dipped, coconut and chocolate covered
And the ones all stuffed with jelly or with shiny icing smothered
Don’t forget the muffins or the Maxwell House’s coffee
This is probably not the place to ask you waitress for a latte
All was going smooth for years until one rueful day
When the world’s largest donut nation sailed into the bay
They thought they’d sneak right into town out by the cemetery
With those wash-ashores down from Vermont whose names were Ben and Jerry
But Cape Codders are a wily lot, they saw the frosting on the wall
And mounted up a protest to curtail this corporate sprawl
«We don’t need your You-Know-Who-nuts here in town amongst our neighbors
We’ve got Donut Shacks and Hole in One’s to do our pastry labors
So take your franchise somewhere else to make your big dinero
If I gotta have a croissant, I’ll just hit the Chocolate Sparrow
Yet in spite of all the protest You-Know-Who-nuts got their store
First in Chatham, then in Eastham, and by now, there’s several more
Don’t deny it, I have seen you there in line with all the tourists
Where they claim the world’s finest coffee, that’s a joke to purists
But if you pause to ponder, then this song will have succeeded
Right here at home you never know how much your dough is kneaded
So if you gotta have a sweet, there’s something you can do
Consider local merchants and the years that they’ve been here for you
They’re the ones who’ve earned your business,
So make sure that they don’t go nuts
Go spend more money at their stores
And less at You-Know-Who-nuts