Stupid Injunction

Roll up! Roll up!
Whatever your dysfunction
Conceal it from the public
With a super-injunction
If you plan to cover up
Your extra-marital seduction
Your Samaritans are «embarristers»
Who’ll put up an obstruction
It costs 50 to a 100K
So if you’ve got enough to
Throw that kind of money away
You’re A-OK
But for the rest of us
Who struggle to get as much
And as such must settle
For Tesco’s own breakfast puffs
It’s never enough
Plus it’s evident, look;
Freedom of speech just took
A ferking terrible cut
But in the digital age
It is inevitable that
Just a simple Twitter page
Can make incredible ruptures
When someone’s got the gumption
To publish your compunction
Then covering it up
Becomes tougher than tungsten
You and I can’t do it
But the dude with the funds can
Its ferking fun to use a super-injunction
Roll up! Roll up!
Whatever your dysfunction
Conceal it from the public
With a super-injunction
If you need to receive
Sexual abuse from a truncheon
We got you covered, brother:
Just get a super-injunction
Did you know this song is illegal in the UK
Cos it reveals what you’re unable to read in newspapers
Namely, that if you want to see the allegations
Visit this Twitter page to see what happened is shameless
Now laughing at famous people isn’t particularly civil
But it’s ridiculous that it can make me into a criminal
When disseminating facts and information
Can actually make you end up slapped in a cage
It’s dangerous!
So fuck Carter-Ruck and Trafigura
They deserve an unlubricated cactus to the anus
Roll up! Roll up!
Whatever your dysfunction
Conceal it from the public
With a super-injunction
If you choose to get nude
And act rude in a dungeon
No sweat!
Just use your super-injunction
I feel like whistling, you know?