You Hold Back

Have I lost it, have I lost it
Or have I just bought in
To the bullshit
Have I lost it, have I lost it
Or have I just bought in
To the bullshit
The mirrors
The smoke I traced back
To the faucet
Leaking
Into the sink covered in hair
Oh I see what you did there
You cut off your cares
God it’s so freeing
Time isn’t fleeting
It’s pause and politeness
It’s judge and be triteness
Your sensitivity and sex
Your rules and respect
I haven’t seen you follow any of it since two god damn years ago
You got bored, you got tired, you gave up on filing
Who pissed you off and who won you over
This is a fashion, this is a formula
This is contrasting colors in October
You can’t go against the grain
If there’s no natural wood
My friends all think I’m crying wolf
You got caught up in the concept
And oh that’s never good
(I want to be happy, but I’m better when I’m mad)
So we make our own monuments
Out of our favorite bridges and buildings
The old ones were boring
They didn’t mean anything to us
I know it seems so immature
All these questions I want answers for
But I can’t put faith into anything
I can’t physically touch
I want to be happy
But I’m holding myself back
But a love handles
And it holds back