modern dating and heartbreak

I really need to get this off my chest
I been going through it the last two I swear I tried my best
A couple dodged bullets, a couple lodged up in my vest
Blessed that I was strong enough to make it through this fuckin' mess
Owe it to my mom I know she taught me how to deal with stress
A lot of shit has happened since I wrote a story bout my bed
Wrote a lot of songs and quit my job and I was so depressed
Suicidal thoughts and regret were pushing me further in
Lone wolf cozy I was so alone and cold within
Heavy heart was broken I got flaws deep beneath the skin
I dated girls who made me feel whole but I didn’t let them in
I’m sorry if I fucked you up, I’m sorry if I really did
My real thoughts were kept inside, too afraid to say a lie
I stayed quiet overthinking feeling anxious all the time
I didn’t speak I only smiled, I could barely meet their eyes
And when I left I slipped away, barely even said goodbye
And I remember back in Fernish Park
East side watching my parent’s marriage just fall apart
Long nights staying awake and staring into the dark
Wishing I could fade away, wish I got another start
Wishin' I could rid the pain, aching in my little heart
Wishin' I could wipe the tears, like the rain upon my car
2010 fucked me up, you were there to hold me up
Autumn nights would do me in, but you there was just enough
Everytime you came in clutch, hit the streets and poured it up
Imported shit was what we drunk, 'ronas gave a little buzz
Thick or thin we rode it out, thick as thieves you read about
Camorri shit we’d catch a route, and put the cash in the account
Yeah
And then somehow I made it out
And I left you behind and I’m sorry I know I let you down
We could barely swim together, when I left I let you drown
Didn’t mean to seal your fate, I just hope you’re doing well
I made so many mistakes
2020 got me just tryna pump all the breaks
I was getting sickly from never taking a break
Moving like a zombie with hollowed eyes and a gait
Going though all the motions, tired of my emotions
Dated a couple girls who fucked up all my emotions
Gas lit, cheated on, lied to, preyed upon
Learn this shit, early on
Damn
These bitches are fucking crazy this city had got me jaded
I never thought I could make it through all of this modern dating
This heartbreak it had me faded
Turn me into a monster where nothing I held was sacred
Nothing was consumated
I knew I needed saving
Separated my latest
Was lonely but I knew that I needed my long awaited
And that’s when I met you
Too good to be true
I saw you in a meeting at tash’s quarter to 2
I never thought I’d ever get a girl as good as you
I never knew that falling in love is what we would do
It’s just what I needed
More than I knew
It’s the happiest I’ve ever been since I’ve been with you
It’s true