The War That Followed Me Home

I break down
My mind awakes in the wake of hysteria
It’s happening again
I see your face in the place where I rest my head
I only sleep with my eyes wide open
I blame myself
I shame myself
Death from the front lines showing up on my front doorstep
You’ll never know the guilt I felt from surviving
Or know the love and loss that’s always on repeat
I’m just a living casualty
I thought I left the fight behind back overseas
And maybe I’m denied a full recovery
I’ve gone M.I.A
I’ll never find me
I can’t escape the flashbacks
We attacked
They shot back
The skies turned black
I watched my friend take his last breath
I set aside my humanity
How can I feel when I’ve been trained for apathy?
I put my life on the line
At what cost?
My first kill became the death of me
Death of me!
Forget everything you’ve known and come to believe
Stripped down and torn apart
Replace the heart, you are a machine
Somewhere I know there’s a soul trapped in between
Death from the front lines showing up on my front doorstep
You’ll never know the guilt I felt from surviving
Or know the love and loss that’s always on repeat
I’m just a living casualty
I thought I left the fight behind back overseas
And maybe I’m denied a full recovery
I’ve gone M.I.A
I’ll never find me
Where do I go from here when the smoke clears and the bodies appear?
No time for fear as death rains from the air
My knees collapse and I brace for the impact
The bloodshed that never ends, the echo that runs through my head
It’s a war that followed me home
It’s a war that followed me home
It’s a war that followed me home!
You’ll never know the guilt I felt from surviving
Or know the love and loss that’s always on repeat
I’m just a living casualty
I thought I left the fight behind back overseas
And maybe I’m denied a full recovery
I’ve gone M.I.A
I’ll never find me