Sedatephobic

When was the last time you spoke to me?
When was the last time I felt the need to listen?
And were you blinded by desperation
Sedatephobic panic sets in
But still, you never listened
Maybe it’s standing on a porch step all alone
When evening light has faded
From a distant glimmer to a dull glow
Maybe it’s in the air
A cigarette
An empty home
Passing conversation
Voices over telephones
Something about the way I close my eyes feels easier
Like something about the way
Your voice demanded open ears
Days go by
It seems I’ve lost the need to say the things
That distance has replaced with idle numbness
Silent emptiness
Maybe it’s waiting for a train going far from home
With countless bodies walking in straight lines
Their limbs framing
Glowing exit signs
Or maybe it’s knowing I can’t find you here
Knowing you’re comfortable
With the ones you that you love near
I tell myself I’m grateful for what you did to me
But it means nothing
I mean nothing
I know you’d have trouble understanding
Days go by
It seems I’ve lost the need to say the things
That distance has replaced with idle numbness
Silent emptiness
And I don’t know what it is
But something about the way that
Distance has replaced this need for conversation
This ache to end the silence puts me at ease
And it helps me, but I can’t sleep
When the day’s end feels so far come morning light
These words feel ephemeral
They fall from my lips
It’s quiet as night
That swallows your mind
Leaves you hungry for a chance to close your eyes