Tension

I don’t know why, I feel this tension inside
I don’t know why, I feel this tension inside
I just wanna live, please just let me live, yeah
This tension inside
But I don’t wanna live a life of pretend, no
This tension inside of me
Look this tension
I feel it, during my ascension
What I deal with on the daily is crazy life ain’t no field trip
The contention for my attention is realest when I nearest
To my goals, my dreams when they’re close within' my reach
But man this life is hard. Sometimes it’s hard to write with an open heart
Hard to think there’ll be open arms, it’s hard to wrestle with the truth up in
the dark
When I can’t see what’s up ahead
One more step and I’m at the ledge
If I pledge allegiance to these demons tell me, what happens next?
Will there be fame, money, power, lots of sex?
CD sales, Holy Grails, lots of broken necks?
From all these people that I stepped on to get where I’m at
Like I really don’t care how I get there as long as I get respect
You think I’ll go there, by steppin' on my friends like I don’t care?
I’m not about makin' any bit of music if there is no hope there but still
The tensions that I mentioned are real
All these ambitious decisions are vicious they kill, for real
I don’t know why, I feel this tension inside
I don’t know why, I feel this tension inside
I just wanna live, please just let me live, yeah
This tension inside
But I don’t wanna live a life of pretend, no
This tension inside of me
Yo
I really wish I’d try
To fight it, my God
All this writin’s excitin', but I tend to wonder if they’re gonna like it
Why, does it matter when all this chatter’s been battered so badly?
All I imagine is rappin' then people laughin' at me
These struggles are troublin', rubble’s muddled it
Puddles of blood in it, tunnels are crumblin' humblin' everyone who hopes
In a man that’s prolly gonna close they hand
They don’t really know what I’m sayin', they just prayin' that we don’t land,
yeah
I know there’s more to this distortion, money’s blown out of proportion
A portion of their extortion prolly funds abortions
I may be cynical, I just feel like a sentinel
Who’s out there with a fishin' pole, tryin' to remain missional, yeah
But still the struggle remains, I really just wanna get fame
Yet remain true in my faith, maybe I should throw this away
I really just wanna get paid, cuz there’s no dough in the bank
But they tell me God over money and I don’t really wanna be fake
I don’t know why, I feel this tension inside
I don’t know why, I feel this tension inside
I just wanna live, please just let me live, yeah
This tension inside
But I don’t wanna live a life of pretend, no
This tension inside of me