The Come Heres & The Been Heres

The come heres and the been heres — they don’t get along
I’d been there 15 minutes — and I knew something was wrong
The waitress wasn’t friendly — and neither was the cook
Until I asked how far it was — to the town of Stony Brook
The come heres live in cabins — the been heres live in shacks
They’ll say hello in passing — talk behind each others' backs
White collars versus rednecks — horses versus mules
The city kids they come here — make the teachers look like fools
The come heres come with laptops, Wii, and DVR’s
Some of them have GPS’s — inside their hybrid cars
They want to make no smoking zones in all the public places
They want to pass an ordinance outlawing turkey races
The ancestors of been heres — they came here early on
When there were just the Indians — and once they were gone
They claimed themselves the new world — there was lots to go around
Carved up a bunch of properties & they built this little town
Now the come heres nearly have the votes to make one of ‘em mayor
In the last election they won half the council chairs
They took over the school board and outlawed the morning prayers
They’re teaching evolution and sex education there
The come heres have their pussycats and their little white french poodles
The been heres have their hound dogs — with names like Yankee Doodle
The come heres like to watch the ducks and sometimes they will feed ‘em
The been heres like to shotgun ‘em & take ‘em home & eat ‘em
The been heres do their drinking in a been here owned saloon
But in that brand new micro-brewery there’s a separate dining room
Only at the K-mart or the Wal-mart do they mix
They think of one another as carrot nibblers & hicks
The come heres keep a coming — new ones every day
They come for second chances — the new world, as they say
They buy & sell these properties — for unheard of amounts
The come heres keep a' coming — building up this little town
The come heres and the been heres — two towns that overlap
You wouldn’t even see it — by just looking at a map
I was there at Christmas time — when a tree was just a tree
And you couldn’t tell whose kids were who’s — sitting there on Santa’s knee
The come heres & the been heres — there’s talk about a fence
The whole town is divided — half for and half against