The 12 Days of Quarantine

On the first day of quarantine this lockdown year gave me
The virus COVID-19
On the second day of quarantine this lockdown year gave me
Blue rubber gloves
And the virus COVID-19
On the third day of quarantine this lockdown year gave me
No more friends
Blue rubber gloves
And the virus COVID-19
On the fourth day of quarantine this lockdown year gave me
Hoarding tendencies
No more friends
Blue rubber gloves
And the virus COVID-19
On the fifth day of quarantine this lockdown year gave me
Remote learning
Hoarding tendencies
No more friends
Blue rubber gloves
And the virus COVID-19
On the sixth day of quarantine this lockdown year gave me
Murder hornets
Remote learning
Hoarding tendencies
No more friends
My kids won’t find me under the bed
And the virus COVID-19
On the seventh day of quarantine this lockdown year gave me
Doubt in my marriage
Murder hornets
Home schooling hell
Hoarding tendencies
No more friends
Blue rubber gloves
And the virus COVID-19 (oh my God)
On the eighth day of quarantine this lockdown year gave me
Panic disorders
I haven’t talked to my wife since Tuesday
Murder hornets
Remote learning (kill me)
(I just bought seven hundred cans of soup)
Hoarding tendencies
No more friends
Just talk to myself all day
And the virus COVID-19
On the ninth day of quarantine this lockdown year gave me
My new love handles
Panic disorders
Doubt in my marriage
Murder hornets
IPad learning
(I mean really, how much am I paying for this?)
Hoarding tendencies (hoard all that toilet paper)
Friends, what are they?
Blue rubber gloves (I think I’m allergic to latex)
And the virus COVID-19 (is it over yet?)
On the tenth day of quarantine this messed up year gave me
Doctor Fauci
My clothes don’t fit anymore
Panic disorders
My therapist says this is normal
Murder hornets
Remote learning (make it stop)
Hoarding tendencies
(Does anyone wanna hang out? I’ll wear a mask)
Stupid rubber gloves
And the virus COVID-19 (whatever I hate you)
On the whatever day of quarantine this messed up year gave me
Doctor Fauci
My new fat handles
(Wash your hands, wash your hands, wash your hands)
Doubt in my marriage (everything's fine except)
Murder hornets
Remote learning (oh my God)
Hoarding tendencies
(Nope, I don’t know any friends)
Blue rubber gloves
And the virus COVID-19
On the twelfth day of quarantine this fucked-up year gave me
A week-long election
Kerry and Megan moved to Canada?
Anthony Fauci
I just can’t stop eating, I’m freaking out
My wife may leave me
Is that murder hornet or a wasp?
How the hell am I supposed to work
(Remote leaning)
And teach my kids at the same time? Oh my God
Reuse that toilet paper
I miss my friends
My hands are so sweaty
And the virus COVID-19