Panicked and Paralyzed

I’m at the laundromat folding the sleeves to my t-shirt's back
Watching that cycle spin, my socks look like fish jumping
Scrolling through Craigslist just wishing I had IBS
To qualify for a medical test and pay all my good friends back
I, I get panicked and paralyzed
I got habitual perversions and manic aspirations
Just to get myself out of bed
Dig myself from the pillow and walk the sleep out of my head
Looking at the shower knobs, the cold handle is labelled hot
The light switch is outside the door, I find faces in the tile walls
I used to get blemishes on my skin
Look like someone sank a battleship
Now when they call me handsome, I don’t wanna believe them
But you know that I try
I get panicked and paralyzed
My hair line is losing real-estate
My forehead is expanding my face
I spend 5 minutes a day just pulling my hair from the drain
I can get mad so fast and pulse defies reason
When I don’t search for words to explain
And I wind up hurting someone
I look for a receiving end to place my frustrations
But because they start with me its the only place their gonna end
I, I get panicked and paralyzed
And all of my thank-yous are for your understanding
Proceeding an apology
Was I ever really lucky or was it just others
Was it just others favors and sympathies
I’m gonna get so better, turn on like thi s
Not knowing how to say how I feel
Catch me honking at student drivers with my head on the wheel
Catch me honking at student drivers with my head on the wheel