The Soviet Machine

Just in case you feel a trace
Of doubt or even nervous tension
Let me draw the latest score
To your attention
Not the score, the witless score
That commentators are debating
Come, admit, who gives a shit
For Elo rating
No, I prefer
And I’m sure you concur
To see who’s ahead
Psychologically, for example
We have on tap
An inscrutable chap
Whose thoughts never stray
From the state of the play
Viigand!
Whereas…
(sung)
It’s so difficult to concentrate if
You have left your native
Country for a woman who has plans of her own
It’s not easy for a chap to excel
Feeling guilty as hell
Having left his wife to face the music alone
But, even worse
Imagine if his ladies met
Well then I’ll bet
The atmosphere 'round here
Would be a little strained
As she explained
How could he do
What he’s done to those two
Most wonderful girls
Yes, I love you both
Most amusing!
Starting them scratch
They’ll torpedo his match
His horsepower dead
On the board and in bed
Bit by bit the pieces fit
The Soviet machine advances
Not one move that
Won’t improve our nation’s chances
We predict a stunning victory
Both on the board and off it
This will show that traitor
No one rats with profit
But we’re going to smash that bastard
Make him wanna change his name
Take him to the cleaners and devastate him
Wipe him out, humiliate him
We don’t want the whole world saying
«They can’t even win a game.»
We have never reckoned on coming second
There’s no use in
Losing
Bit by bit the pieces fit
The soviet machine advances
We can feel the flame
Of triumph burning
Our people’s pride returning
Not one move that won’t
Improve our nation’s chances
Hoi!
No, I prefer
And I’m sure you concur
To see who’s ahead
Psychologically, for example
We have on tap
An inscrutable chap
Whose thoughts never stray
From the state of the play
La la la la, la la lay la lay la
La la la la la la la la la la la
Bit by bit the pieces fit
The soviet machine advances
Not one move that won’t
Improve our nation’s chances
Hey!
We predict a stunning victory
Both on the board and off it
This will show that traitor
No one rats with profit
Ah ah, la la la la!
From Moscow to the Bering Strait
Citizens will hail our victory
In arctic circles, frozen states
Will join with warmer climes in reverie
And I can say of this affair
I was there
Did my share
Played my part
And comrades all will be aware
I was there
From the start
Mmm mmm…
Ah ah…