Life of the Party

Well they call me the life of the party
They call her the belle of the ball
Well we start before anybody
And I promise we’ll outlast them all
Well it started when I was in high school
My mom and my dad taught me well
A bottle of wine at Thanksgivin'
And a Valium when grandma raised hell
So I had some champagne at a wedding
I believe that they called it 'Cold Duck'
And they girl I’d been eying all evenin'
She took me round back and we sucked down the rest of that bottle
And things really started to click
Well we kissed on the boxes of liquor
And she reached down and grabbed her some dickle
And added some cola
Far be it for me should I pass
For I thought that if I drank another
I’d certainly need me some Aspirin
On the next mornin'
I’d tried not to make me a sound
'Cause the girl who was sleepin' beside me
Had gained herself two hundred
Pounding on my bedroom window
My dad yelled to jump out of bed
But she woke up from all the commotion
Insisting she give me some headlines
She’d read in the paper
She said it had been yesterday
They said if you use moderation
Our mornings could all be this way
Well they call me the life of the party
They call her the belle of the ball
Well we start before anybody
And I promise we’ll outlast them all