The Last Saskatchewan Pirate

Well I used to be a farmer
And I made a living fine
I had a little stretch of land
Along the CP line
But times went by and though I tried
The money wasn’t there
And the bankers came and took my land
And told me fair is fair
I looked for every kind of job
The answer: always no
«Hire you now?», they always laughed
«We just let twenty go»
The government
They promised me a measly a little sum
But I’ve got too much pride to end up
Just another bum
Then I thought who gives a damn if all the jobs are gone
I’m gonna be a pirate, on the river Saskatchewan
And it’s a heave ho hi ho coming down the plains
Stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains
And it’s a ho hey hi hey farmers bar your doors
When you see the Jolly Rodger on Regina’s mighty shores
Well you think the local farmers would know that I’m at large
But just the other day I found an unprotected barge
I snuck up right behind them and they were none the wiser
I rammed the ship and sank it and stole the fertilizer
Bridge outside of Moose Jaw spans the mighty river
Farmers cross with so much fear their stomach are a-quiver
'Cause they know that Captain Tractor’s hiding in the bay
I’ll jump the bridge and knock 'em cold and sail off with their hayyyyy
Well, Mountie Bob he chased me, he was always at my throat
He followed on the shore lines cause he didn’t own a boat
But the cutbacks were coming and the Mountie lost his job
So now he’s sailing with me and we call him Salty Bob
A swinging sword and skull and bones and pleasant company
I never pay my income tax and screw the GST (Screw it!)
Sailing down to Saskatoon the terror of the sea
If you want to reach the co-op boy you gotta get by me
HAHAR
Well the pirate life’s appealing but you don’t just find it here
I hear in North Alberta there’s a band of buccaneers
They roam the Athabasca from Smith to Fort McKay
And you’re gonna lose your Stetson if you have to pass their way
Well winter is a-coming and a chill in the breeze
But pirate days are over once the river starts to freeze
But I’ll be back in spring time and now I have to go
I hear there’s lots of plundering down in New Mexico
When you see the Jolly Rodger on Regina’s mighty shores
When you see the Jolly Rodger on Regina’s mighty shores