Powder Blues

I got so many things I need to say to you
That I don’t know how to say to you
I’m afraid, I’m afraid for you
I miss laughing with you
The good old days
I wish I could go back
Memories stay
So you’re in a hurry
I’m not ready
But don’t worry
Still, I keep forgetting
Powder blue drapes
But you’re too young, young, young
See, I got my people, but I don’t want no one, one, one
What if I lost my sister
I probably woulda slit my wrists up
It would take a lifetime to register
I wouldn’t even try get dressed up
Just to say goodbye my sister
I would probably turn to God with fists up
Like, damn, God, I really think you messed up
I think that there might have been a mix up
It should have been me not my sister
Probably drop down when the coffin lifts up
Probably might drown in the strongest liquor
Just so it could harness quicker
Nobody more important to me than my sister
So I could give a damn who miss her
And I could give a damn God’s with her
I can’t understand you picked her
My heart’s permanent splinter
You can go ahead and dry my blister
People still telling me it gets better
So you’re in a hurry
I’m not ready
But don’t worry
Still, I keep forgetting
Powder blue drapes
But you’re too young, young, young
See, I got my people, but I don’t want no one, one, one
Don’t worry, (child)
It’s time that I start walking on my own
(But things ain’t been the same)
I think of you every single night
(We haven’t spoken that much in a long, long time), yeah
God got an angel, but I feel I lost mine, yeah, yeah
(I forgot to wish you on your birthday)
Birthdays are the worst days
(Beautiful soul)
Don’t stress yourself
We’ll be okay
Okay, okay
Seems like it never would end
Started a trend
Stacked up like dominos
Fighting the darkness within
I couldn’t win
I couldn’t convince myself that it was dead back in August
She was dishonest
I stayed regardless
Kept my demons in the closet
But she made a promise
Guess it was guilt
They said I didn’t love myself enough
And I realized it
Then the car accident
Then came the robbery
Hoping my sister survives it
I couldn’t care if I saw the next day
Just heard her scream my name when they tied us
Took Tassie away
Took Khensani away
2019, gave my daddy cancer
I don’t have the answers
I don’t know if I’d manage without him
I couldn’t stomach it
I bet he’s stronger without it
Singing these powder blues