Hope

Nowadays it hurts more when I leave you
Cause next time ain’t promised
Feelin' paranoid if I’m honest
I know yo I know God got it
Just don’t want him take it too
In this room wondering why I ain’t made this move
To come back home
Spend time with my niece ‘fore she get more grown
And make new memories instead of rewinding the times
In my mind that we had in the past
I’m reminded of why I should never look back
When I do I feel stuck like I can’t move forward
Just wanna give up all my breaths gettin' shorter
Bathtub runnin' while I’m feelin' underwater
I’m just tryna wash my body as my mind brainstormin'
Inside gotta prioritize what’s important
But I’ma sleep it off ‘til the mornin'
Don’t wanna lose hope
Nah I ain’t tryna lose hope
I know the world’s gettin' darker don’t wanna lose hope
They said High Grade you gotta have hope
I wonder if the tears in my heart are the same tears now
I could picture down your eyes
I remember pickin' up the phone in the back hearin' «No daddy why!»
Had to see her mother brutalized
He used to call me bro, to find out he a wolf in disguise
Another big fool with a pride
Beatin' up my sister, pick on someone ya own size
Almost had me go and backslide
Almost flew out from the Bay slidin' down the corner
Rollin' with my bloody cuzzos all just for the freedom you deserve
Tired all these people around you stealin' your worth
I’d rather their face than yours be in the dirt
Lord knows I try to stay strong but it hurt
I’m prayin' hard for you and I’m prayin' that it work
I’m workin' hard for you just to get back a return
And get back and return
Without you worrying about what I get back in return
I’ll use all my reserves on you to keep you preserved
Money drains just to resurge that’s what I learned
I’d rather burn it all on you than burn a urn
I know your value is way more than you earn
Way more than you seem to find in your research
I know the Lord’s good you’ll find after you search
You tryna follow my lead but how could I be first?
When I’m ‘bout to lose hope
Yea, yea I’m ‘bouta lose hope
I know the world’s gettin' darker
I don’t wanna lose hope
Nah, they say you gotta have hope
Yo they say you High Grade you gotta have hope
Don’t know tonight but I don’t have hope
I pray in the morning I’ma have hope
Cause when I look outside I ain’t see hope
But I gotta have hope