Forgiven

Yeah, yeah
Why doesn’t everyone get second chances?
Another question I can never answer
I ain’t been living up to heaven’s standards
I’m hoping god just never check the cameras
Why would he hand us what we couldn’t handle?
And yo, it’s hard to keep believing when the hope is gone
When your bank account overdrawn
You always feel like you supposed to run
Contemplating with a loaded gun
Yeah, I done thought about it more than once
But yo, you somebody’s everything
Even if it don’t feel like it
Depression hurts, but you should never get killed by it
All pill diet
Anything to make you real tired
Now the money low, but the bills higher
Locked in these walls
My granny like «here, I got you this cross»
Just hold it and think of me through all the times you feel lost
So much sentimental value, don’t care how much it costs
You the only one that saw through my flaws
I just hope that I’m forgiven
For The way that I been living
Terrorized by my own thoughts
Paralyzed through my whole heart
Terrified my shit won’t spark
Yeah, I keep thinking «I'll get it, this just a slow start»
That was last March
Anything to live my dream
I threw my life away
Success is more like an oven than like a microwave
And god be handing out his blessings all types of ways
So just be ready for the tidal wave
Still searching for my independence
I call my dog like «bro, it’s been a minute»
I know this ain’t go the way we intended
But when I think about our friendship I just feel resentment
Overextending, not knowing life was so open-ended
I hope we mended I know you timid from my ascendance
But I gotta get it
My biggest fear is to die a witness
I know my body is rented
My soul is just a tenant
I know my future’s the remnants of all my past decisions
And if I die before you hear this just know that it takes a village
And yo, you was a piece in apart of making me fearless
You the realest
And no, I don’t never know what my deal is
I’ve always had a problem with never showing my feelings
Now I’m opening up until I’m sobering up
Yo, I gave this shit my all and I just hope it’s enough
And I been filled with so much hate I’m trynna focus on love
But I think everybody broken as fuck
I just hope that I’m forgiven
For The way that I been living