Me

You’ve been dreaming, just one dream
Nearly all your life
Hoping, scheming, just one theme:
Will you be a wife?
Will you be some he-man's property?
Good news!
That he-man's me!
This equation, girl plus man
Doesn’t help just you
On occasion, women can
Have their uses too
Mainly to extend the family tree
Pumpkin, extend with me!
We’ll be raising sons galore
Inconceivable!
Each built six foot four!
Unbelievable!
Each stuffed with ev’ry Gaston gene!
I’m not hearing this!
You’ll be keeping house with pride!
Just incredible!
Oh so gratified
So unweddable!
That you are a part of this idyllic scene
(spoken)
Picture this: A rustic hunting lodge, my latest kill roasting over the fire,
my little wife massaging my feet, while the little
Ones play on the floor with the dogs. We’ll have six or seven!
Dogs?
No, Belle!
Strapping boys… like me!
Imagine that!
I can see that we will share
All that love implies
We shall be a perfect pair
Rather like my thighs
You are face to face with destiny!
All roads lead to…
The best things in life are…
All’s well that ends with me!
Escape me?
There’s no way
Certain as «Do, Re,»
Belle, when you marry…
(spoken)
So Belle, what would it be?
Is it «yes», or is it «oh, yes»?
I… I just don’t deserve you!
Who does?
(sung)
Me!
But thanks for asking