
This just in: we have unconfirmed reports that Tokyo is under attack! By a… 50 foot man with a white face A chicken bucket on his head, carrying an enormous guitar! According to this report, whenever he plays a note, The sonic waves cause whole buildings to explode! Streets to buckle and split and vehicles to fly about like toys! I come in peace X3 The defense command has ordered all citizens to evacuate immediately! People from sector 4, please report to the bus depot in sector 3! Sector 5, proceed in an orderly fashion to sector 6! Sector 1 and 2, board the bullet trains without delay. Wait! We have visual contact! Look at the size of those shoes! Who is this giant? Where did he come from? Where is he going!? What’s he playing? What’s he saying? Run for your lives! I come in peace X3 I come in peace X3 It seems that this gargantuan figure is only destroying chicken outlets. The liberated chickens appear to be… following him. A white wave of feathered friends… isn’t this the year of the rooster? And here come the children following close behind… huh! They’re all headed for a gigantic fortified chicken coop on Mt. Fugi! AH! I SCREWED UP!
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