Creshendorious

I had a dream last night that you were still mine,
I had a dream last night that we were so fine.
I was stood in the middle of Soho Square,
And all my favourite people were standing there,
And I was screaming, I was singing…
I am still your girl,
I am still, I am still, I am still, I am still,
I heard a posh voice in the crowd,
It was Simon Amstell,
I said Simon, darling, I’m thirsty,
He wops out a couple of cans of Amstel,
We glugged 'em down in two glugs,
Glug glug, glug glug.
Then I awoke and realised that we’d not spoke,
And I woke and realised and my heart broke,
That I’m not still your girl,
And I don’t know Simon Amstell.
If you return, if you return,
The turn turn tables will have turned,
I’ll look like Tina Turner Turner or Cher,
You’ll be so impressed with my big get get up up of hair.
If you return, if you return,
The turn turn tables will have turned,
I’ll look like Tina Turner Turner or Cher,
You’ll be so impressed with my big get get up up of hair.
I stuck pins in you, you stuck pins in me.
We made pin-ups of other people’s hearts so easily.
I used to say how fit and hot other people were in front of you all of the time,
No wonder you bumped me, marshmallow frumped me.
But now I’ve learnt that everything that’s fit becomes unfit and fat,
And everything that’s hot hot hot will inevitably cool cool down.
Actually, thinking about it, except for the sun, except for the sun.
So you, in my eyes, will never be fit or hot,
You are the sun, you are the blazing sun,
You are the one.
If you return, if you return,
The turn turn tables will have turned,
I’ll look like Tina Turner Turner or Cher,
You’ll be so impressed with my big get get up up of hair,
No, it will definitely be Tina Turner,
Turnround, you’re an artist you’ve won the Turner prize prize now,
In your eyes I am a prize turnip!
I stuck pins in you, you stuck pins in me.
We made pin-ups of other people’s hearts so easily.
You said I made life more like fireworks,
For you and the people that were close to me,
Well that is the most loveliest thing that anybody has
ever, ever said to me.
And in my fire-working display,
You are the starry, starry night,
You are the Van-Gogh any day,
You are the head, shoulders, knees and toes,
Head, shoulders, knees and toes,
Toe Toe, woof woof, where’s Toto?
Tingling, red wine, you are Judy Garland.
You are gay pride, 'It's a Wonderful Life',
Gold bell chime.
You are horrible, beautiful, wonderful, the best,
A Prada shoe, a reggae-coloured, purchased from a
market stall, string vest.
You are Creshendorious, you are, you are
Creshendorious, you are, you are Creshendorious.
You are… glorious.