Pain Medicine

A hot knife to my skin
Anything just to feel
Just to prove that I’m still here
Anything to register
Pain
Pain as a medicine
Addicted to my own self destruction
Heaven’s uninvited
Creator and destroyer
The arbiter of all composition
Albatross
Giver and taker of my existence
Pain
My only motivation
I’m working towards nothing
I feel like I’m fucking dying
No one knows that I’m here
And no one will know when I’m gone
A match lit in a canyon, burning alive in silence
A victim of my inaction, we always knew this would happen
I’ll take this to my grave
Don’t stop 'till it hurts
I need this more than you could ever know
Let this end with me
I’ll never be normal
Pain
The only thing that i’ll ever need
Pain
The only thing that will never leave
Because when you’ve been cut, and there is no longer a chance for wholeness
Only the feeling of how hopeless you become
To ever be the person that you thought you would
Lost solace
Absence of purpose
Your growth, stunted