Ode to Lola

She’s a vamp!
She’s a pert!
She’s a snake in the grass in a skirt!
Oh she waddles along like a duck on the loose
All she needs is the feathers, she’s got the caboose!
When she gives
Them the eye
If they’re over sixteen it’s «goodbye!»
Oh it’s not that we’re worried and not that we care…
But oh, what my hands could do to her hair!
Lola, we adore you, who could ever take your place?
We’re all pulling for you
We’d love to see you fall on your face
She’s a bore!
She’s a pest!
She’s a lot of bad news from the west!
Oh she’s taken our boys an' she oughta be poisoned
We hate her!
But aside of that…
We’re all very fond of Miss Pratt
She’s a dream!
Yessiree!
But how bad can a dream get to be?
Oh how much of her nonsense have we got to take?
If she’d only jump, I’d furnish the lake!
She’s a friend
Yes, indeed
But the kind of a friend you don’t need
Generosity’s one thing the girl doesn’t lack
Why she’d even give you the shirt off my back!
Lola, we adore you
With the hands they long to touch
Lola, when you leave us…
We’ll miss you, dear, but not very much!
She’s so toot!
She’s so tweet!
As she twavels awong down the stweet
With her dear ickle Floppit, why doesn’t she stop it?
The overstuffed boy-crazy brat!
But we’re very fond of…
Tewibwy fond of…
Twemendously fond of…
Miss Pratt!