Nick Cave Dolls

Hi… Glad you called
Guess what I’m doing right now!
Mmmm… That’s right
I’m walking along Hollywood Boulevard
All I hear are people around me asking each other
«Who's here? Who’s here?»
But… we know there aren’t any stars out here
You know what I’d like right now?
Mmmm… That’s right
Chocolate cake with ice cream
Mmmm…
Palm trees are swaying wildly around us
And the sky…
Grows darker and darker…
People are already on the streets
Some in terror, some in wonderment
Most… confused
You and I…
We watch the funnel clouds hypnotically inch toward the ground
And upon touchdown, turn into atomic mushroom clouds and explode
A few spectators applaud
Scared shitless, we duck into the Spanish Pavilion, but…
It’s remarkably unremarkable
There’s nothing much to do so
We go downstairs where… That’s right
Nude and lingerie-clad girls are having a pose-athon
Guess what I do!
That’s right
I throw caution to the wind and peel off my girdle
And take my place on the red vinyl ottoman
That stands in the middle of the lobby
The walls are covered in full-length mirrors
You have to admit the scene is pretty sexy
Then, I think to myself…
«Is it politically correct to even be here?»
I mean, look what happened to Dorothy Stratten
Then I decide…
«Oh, the hell with it, I’m horny!»
Just then, Jeff, the famous balding actor
Famous for his tattooed rebel roles
And loose-fitting Italian suits, walks by
He talks to us about… That’s right
All the toys he buried in his backyard
So no one else would play with them
He says one of his favorites is his Nick Cave Doll
I feel pity for the man, and hope one day
He’ll grow hair
Then… I think…
«Wow! They have Nick Cave Dolls now…
I waaaant ooone!»