My Dad

I love my dad but he can be an asshole sometimes.
He doesn’t think I’m funny.
I can’t even eat with the guy.
He’ll stand up:
You are NOT funny." What the fuck? «You are NOT funny?»
I have a joke for you, knock knock!"
Who’s there, dad?
You are NOT funny."
I can’t beat my dad in argument 'cause he grew up during the Korean war in
Korea.
And I grew up in San Diego.
I remember I was a little kid and I’d come home and be like, «Dad!
My friend Billy just fell off his skateboard, he broke his ankle and now he
can’t skate anymore.»
My dad would be like, «OH YA???
OOOHH, BIG DEAL!
My friend Han Lee during the Korean war?
His head blew up!
Now he can’t comb his hair.»
My dad would make up old Korean wives' tales.
I knew he’d make that shit up. '
Cause it didn’t make any sense.
I used to watch the T.
this close -like this- my dad would walk up to me, «Hey Bobby, in Korea they say if you watch T.
that close, GRANDPA WILL DIE." What the fuck?
But dad, he’s already dead!"
YOU DID IT!
How do you feel, murderer?!"