
Well, I was feelin' sad and feelin' blue, I didn’t know what in the world I was gonna do, Them Communists they wus comin' around, They wus in the air, They wus on the ground. They wouldn’t gimme no peace.. . So I run down most hurriedly And joined up with the John Birch Society, I got me a secret membership card And started off a-walkin' down the road. Yee-hoo, I’m a real John Bircher now! Look out you Commies! Now we all agree with Hitlers' views, Although he killed six million Jews. It don’t matter too much that he was a Fascist, At least you can’t say he was a Communist! That’s to say like if you got a cold you take a shot of malaria. Well, I wus lookin' everywhere for them gol-darned Reds. I got up in the mornin' 'n' looked under my bed, Looked in the sink, behind the door, Looked in the glove compartment of my car. Couldn’t find 'em. .. I wus lookin' high an' low for them Reds everywhere, I wus lookin' in the sink an' underneath the chair. I looked way up my chimney hole, I even looked deep inside my toilet bowl. They got away. .. Well, I wus sittin' home alone an' started to sweat, Figured they wus in my T. V. set. Peeked behind the picture frame, Got a shock from my feet, hittin' right up in the brain. Them Reds caused it! I know they did. .. them hard-core ones. Well, I quit my job so I could work alone, Then I changed my name to Sherlock Holmes. Followed some clues from my detective bag And discovered they wus red stripes on the American flag! That ol' Betty Ross. Well, I investigated all the books in the library, N
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