Defiant Lamb

Coins through my pockets, days through my fingers
I cannot find them, try as I may
For I have spent them on foolish pleasures
In a foreign country so far away
Now I am wandering across this landscape
Walking in circles by my own choice
No fire in the heavens, no wind in the treetops
I cannot see you or hear your voice
When I’m out here on my own
Surrounded and alone
When I squander your mercy
As an ungrateful man
Can you still find me hiding in the corner?
Innocent convict, defiant lamb
I should know better, that’s what I’m thinking
Pleading ignorance won’t do for me
I’m not mistaken, I’m not misguided
This road I’ve taken deliberately
So why am I running? I’ve got excuses
But no good reasons to ease my shame
I am not worthy to be your servant
To live in your household, to bear your name
When I’m out here on my own
Haunted by the home
That I once knew so well
As a god-fearing man
Can you still find me, this great pretender?
Behind the mask a defiant lamb
I thought my heart would be like a garden
Where life would spring up
From seeds you’ve sown
But little by little, the thorns took over
And now my heart has turned to stone
That’s why it’s easy to be so careless
Betray this birthright from above
To curse my reflection in the mirror
Hurting someone you truly love
When I’m out here all alone
In this valley of dry bones
My prayers are mirages
And my «faith» is just a scam
Will you still find me, is there a road home
For a bankrupt believer, defiant lamb?
When I’m out here on my own …
A defiant lamb