L A S M

I.B. — Interview Bitch
B.S. — When I’m not sure who’s talking, or Dres and Lawnge both are
M.L. — Mista Lawnge
Dres — Who else?
(Yo-Yo: «Don't try to play me out, don’t try to play me out.»)
I.B. — Hello. We are the hosts of L.A.S.M. association, Ladies Against Sexist
Motherfuckers. And today our guests are Black Sheep. You both are from New York
right?
B.S. — Ah. That’s true. New York. That’s true. Yo
I.B. — You supposedly met in North Carolina?
B.S. — Yea, yea, yea. North Carolina. Yea. Uh huh. Yea, yea
I.B. — So what’s the difference between the lifestyles you lead in New York and
North Carolina?
B.S. — Trees and building. Trees and buildings
Dres — Basically, look, there was tractors, rakes, and hoes down there.
Up here we just got the hoes. You know what I’m saying
B.S. — Tractors and rakes
I.B. — Dres, you seem to have a conceited personality. Do you?
Dres — Next question please
I.B. — Ah. Wow. In your album you disrespect women by calling us hoes.
Why is that?
Dres — Listen, listen, listen. Honey, ho is merely short for honey. Dig?
Ho is short for honey. We just got lazy and dropped the -ney
B.S. — Right. Like when you drop to you knees. Right, right
I.B. — Wait a minute. Do you call you mother, or sister, or your grandmother a
ho? (Go ahead girl)
M.L. — Basically I do. They half hoes. You know what I’m saying. That’s my point
I.B. — Mista Lawnge, what do you mean by this nine point five thing?
M.L. — Could we talk about that some other time
I.B. — But the people want to know
M.L. — Not right now
I.B. — But, but
M.L. — Look, I said later man
I.B. — I can dig it
M.L. — I'll bet she can… ho knows all of my business
I.B. — Hold up, hold up. All professionalism aside, motherfucker,
where do you come off thinking you’re God’s gift to the world? It is dogs like
you that make men look so bad
B.S. — He, he, he
I.B. — Do you really think this bullshit is going to sell?
(beep beep, beep beep, beep beep, beep beep)
M.L. — Well listen it’s like this. Ah, I am a very important man. Right.
And as you can tell. It doesn’t really matter because, as long as I’m up in
somebody busting somebodies gills. Right
I.B. — Look I’ve had enough of your egotistical, chauvinistic, pimp daddy,
immature, couldn’t get a real woman even if you want to attitude
Dres — Honey. Listen. Honey, check this out
I.B. — That's it. I can’t take it any more
Dres — Honey. Listen. Honey. Listen
I.B. — This is the end of this interview. Later
B.S. — Come on
I.B. — I said later man
B.S. — He can dig it
I like them niggas. I like them niggas. I like them niggas
This show was sponsored by Masinfrill douche, Maybe maxipads, and super
Eight inch tampons plus. Courtesy of…