I'm The Greatest Star (from Funny Girl)

I got 36 expressions!
Sweet as pie to tough as leather
And that’s 36 expressions more than all those Baltimores puttogether.
So 'stead of just kicking me why don' t they give me a lift?
Well, it must be a plot!
'Cause their scared that I got… such a gift?
Well, I’ll nift.
Cause I’m
The Greatest Star
I am by far!
But no one knows it--WAIT!
They’re gonna hear a voice
A silver flute (ah ah ah ah)
They’ll cheer each toot
(Yeah, that kids terrific, mmm)
When I expose it
(Now can’t ya see to look at me that)
I’m a natural Camille.
As Camille I just feel
I’ve so much to offer
(Now listen Mr. Z I know I’d be divine because)
I’m a natural cough
(ahoo, aheh, ahay)
Some ain’t got it, not a lot
I’m a great big clump of talent
Laugh!
(ha ha ha ha)
They’ll bend in half
A thousand jokes
(Stick around for the jokes!)
A thousand faces
I reiterate
When ya gifted, then ya gifted
These are facts
I’ve got no acts to parade
Hey, what ya blind?
In all of the world so far
I’m the greatest star
Who is the pip with pizzas?
Who is all ginger and jazz?
Who is as glamorous as?
Who’s an American beauty rose?
With an American beauty NOSE!!!
And ten American beauty toes?
Eyes on the target and wham
One shot on gun shot and BAM!
Hey hey hey hey world!
Here I am!
I’m the greatest star
I am by far
But no one knows it
That’s why I was born
I’ll blow my horn
'Til someone blows back
I gotta break the lights
I’m gonna make 'em fight
I’ll flicker and flare up!
All of the world’s gonna star up!
Looking down you’ll never see me,
Try the sky cause that’ll be me!
I can make 'em cry!
I can make 'em sigh!
Someday they’ll clamor for my drama
Have ya guessed YET!
Who’s the best yet?
If ya late I’ll tell ya one more time
You bet ya last dime
In all of the world so far
I am the greatest, greatest
Star!