The Bellman's Speech

«Come, listen, people, while I tell you again
The five unmistakable marks
By which you may know, wherever you go
The warranted genuine Snarks
«Let us take them in order. The first is the taste
Which is meagre and hollow, but crisp:
Like a coat that is rather too tight in the waist
With a flavour of Will-o'-the-wisp
«We have sailed many weeks, we have sailed many days
(Seven days to the week I allow)
But a true Snark on who, we might lovingly gaze
We have never beheld till now!
«Its habit of getting up late you’ll agree
That it carries too far, when I say
That it frequently breakfasts at five-o'clock tea
And dines on the following day
«The third is its slowness in taking a jest
Should you happen to venture on one
It will sigh like a thing that is deeply distressed:
And it always looks grave at a pun
«We have sailed many weeks, we have sailed many days
(Seven days to the week I allow)
But a true Snark on who, we might lovingly gaze
We have never beheld till now!
«The fourth is its fondness for bathing-machines
Which it constantly carries about
And believes that they add to the beauty of scenes—
A sentiment open to doubt
«The fifth is ambition. It next will be right
To describe each particular batch:
Distinguishing those that have feathers, and bite
From those that have whiskers, and scratch
«For, though common Snarks do no manner of harm
Yet, I feel it my duty to say
Some are Boojums—» The Bellman broke off in alarm
For the Baker had fainted away
«We have sailed many weeks, we have sailed many days
(Seven days to the week I allow)
But a true Snark on who, we might lovingly gaze
We have never beheld till now!