Belong Here

What would it take for my fam
To be proud of me
Everyone doubts me i don’t let it bother me
Take all my anger i get up and bottle it
Sick in the head so i need a lobotomy
Depression controls me, I am lost in these pills
Barely got money to pay all my bills
Friends switching up I am just keeping it real
How does that work? how does that feel?
I’m chasing my dream
And they called me a joke
Seeing no light at the end of the road
So I’m finding my peace at the end of a rope
Feeling alone like I walk in the dark
Searching for love, but I’m all torn apart
So I bury my pain very deep in my heart
I don’t really know how much more I can take
Push to the limit since soon I’ll break
And every smile is a smile that I fake
Say I’m going through hell, but I am doing OK
Say I’m doing OK and I’m doing alright
I love what I do, but isn’t a surprise
This music shit is not what it seems
My friends told me, Taran
You’re wasting your time
I told them I’m chasing my dreams and
If that makes me stupid
I am glad that I’m dumb
Popping these pills got me feeling so numb
So I pressed up my head to the barrel of a gun
See I know what it’s like to just feel all alone
And I look to a sky, sending prayers to a god
What’s it going to take defy all the odds
You don’t know what it’s like
What these thoughts in my head
Am I better off alive or am I better off dead?
And the piece that you get
Comes from each of these lines
So I’m taking my piece to a piece of my mind
See I can’t really think of the last time I smiled
I guess I just haven’t been happy for awhile
They say that when you die your life flash in an instant, but I lost almost
nothing an ambulance in the distance my head was spinning round like the tracks
on a vinyl the nurse just check my pulse
Now she’s checking my vitals, but everything shut down noway left for survival
Maybe I don’t belong here
I feel my end is so near
Been waiting through my own tears
And I wish I’ll just so clear
Yeah suicide on my fucking mind
I’m sick and tired and I’m tired trying
I done gave this shit all I have now there’s nothing left and I feel like dying
Fuck around and load that nine up say «goodbye» You know my times-up
Look into my motherfucking eyes if this really happens would you be surprised
You don’t know shit what I have been through
If you judge me well suck a dick dude
Don’t know who to trust or who to vent to
So I pour my heart out through this pencil
Every time my life is over stressful
I just lose myself to instrumentals
In the world of my music if for those who died, then imma prove them wrong
Keep that fuck shit far away from me
Homie where were you through all my suffering you were never there
Nobody ever cared now you come around showing love to me homie fuck that I
don’t trust that when the storm came that shit struk fast and you did doubt
Who the bitch now
Keep it real or you can sit the fuck down
Sit the fuck down and don’t say shit
Homie can’t you tell I’m all the way pissed
I ain’t been to sleep in like 5 days
And to tell the truth I just might break
I done tried my best yo for christ sake
This depression fucked up my mind state
It’s like I’m say one thing and do another
My mind is fucked up without a rubber
Time is ticking and is ticking fast
Sometimes I wonder how long
Is this bullshit gonna last
My heart is broken, but it’s
No different than broken glass
I can’t repair it cos it’s so
Hard to ignore the past
And if I crash, please don’t save me
Let me rest in peace for once
And let the lord take me
Let the Lord take me and
If this is a nightmare
Please somebody shake me
Maybe I don’t belong here
I feel my end is so near
Been waiting through my own tears
And I wish I’ll just so clear