Slow Burn

It begins with a dark glowing ember,
something black burning it"s way out of me.
Searing the flesh,
pain is the only thing I feel,
scars all I see.
Oh no the fire"s burning my insides again,
what can I do to silence my desire tonight?
Flames consuming reason leaving only ashes left
you will catch me for regretting my decision,
I can"t keep telling myself what I want to hear,
I can"t just close my eyes.
I know that it"s killing me,
and it"s poisoning the best in me,
but I say, I don"t want to believe.
what I see, I don"t want to believe.
So let me tell you more (tell you more)
about the lies I lead.
That is how I choose to douce the flames in gasoline
Broken teeth replace the blackout memories in my head
Wreckage from the past haunts me, shake me to the bone (to the bone)
I know it"s over but I can"t go home tonight.
But after this I feel as empty as the night before,
feel the pain and yet I"m still begging for more.
Masochistic, nihilistic, urging backward thought
My life"s a mess and I can"t find a way to fix it.
I can"t keep telling myself what I want to hear,
I can"t just close my eyes
(my eyes, my eyes, my fucking eyes)
I know that it"s killing
me,
and it"s poisoning the best of me,
What I see, I don"t want to believe.
So let me tell you more, tell you more,
about the lies I lead.
Calling, calling out.
The darkest reaches of my soul,
are riddled with self-doubt.
Crawling, crawling out,
my will to fight will more than suffice,
when others would lay down.
It"s only as dark as you make it.
I know that it"s killing me,
and it"s poisoning the best of me,
but I say, I don"t want to believe.
So let me tell you more, tell you more
about the lies I lead.