Mindstate

I fall into the darkness and I can’t get out
Once again depressed, stressed and filled with doubt
Ain’t no solid evidence
Justificating the aggravating decision to choose a musicians existence
Shit is intense, losing confidence
Really wanna break through but I feel the fence
Defensive way of acting
The way I react when I feel this way
Man I’ma kill today
Hey, listen up normally I’m up
But when the down comes around y’all better shut up
I’m in-caged by my own rage
My own resentment
This state of mind normally stays for a day
But hey, I really try to be the nicest guy
But sometimes my insecurities slice me right?
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Phil
I’m either an asshole or truly real
This remains for anyone if I ever offended you
I’m torn between ups and downs and the ups is losing duke
I’m choosing to be this way
Cause it’s a part of me and the lyricist that I stay
I pray to stay righteous and fight just not to give up
And show these fools that I do give a fuck but
I guess it’s just my mindstate
I guess it’s just my mindstate
I wake up and shut the curtains to hide from the sunlight
Drink a cup of coffee and I hide
Cause the sun might change my perspective on things
And force me to act and react, throw my ass in the ring and fight tonight
I stay up late, anxious as fuck
Scared that my fate is to be broke and stuck in an illusion of grandeur
Or get suicidal like my late grandfather
I purr like a kitten, yet often feel smitten
By the terrible disease of never feeling at ease
I’m displeased by everything an anything at all times
Even though I’m pleasantly positive in all rhymes
Shit, just a facade
Feel pleasant every time I hear them applaud
Yet regret sinks in whenever I’m not singing
Thinking I should’ve finished my school instead of just bringing the
Rhyme
Yet I’m just manic like that, trading education for inspiration is just
Phat
Fuck them suicidal tendencies, I need to stop thinking like that
I guess it’s just my mindstate
I guess it’s just my mindstate…