Trump: The Rusical

Oh, Donny, I just had the best summer of my life
Nothing can make it better
You want me to what?
Is that sanitary?
Trump High’s the worst
It’s absurd, spread the word
It’s our school and it’s sleazy
Trump High’s the worst
Just the worst, it’s the worst
Good morning, students
It’s me, Betsy DeVos
Can you believe I’m your principal?
I’ve never been inside a school before
Ah, but welcome
To your first day back at Trump School for Girls
Hahaha
Hahahahaha
Ha… hmm
Uh, hi!
Omarosa?
Hi, Shandy
Meet the Foxy Ladies
This is Kellyanne
Sarah Huckabee Sanders
And our H.B.I.C., Ivanka
We’re seniors and we rule the school
Who are they?
That’s Ivana and Melania
Hi, Ivana… welcome you to school
Oh, what did you do this summer?
I met a boy in Moscow
His hairdo was wild!
Ooh, spill the tea!
Trump-er humpin', it was a gas
Trump-er humpin', no alternative facts
Such the stud, orange and tall
Did he talk about building a wall?
Moscow bliss with my bad hombre
But, oh, that Moscow tryst
Trump-a, Trump-a
Trump-a, Trump-a
It was golden
Did he have little hands?
He kept tweeting about travel bans
Was he the best sex you ever had?
Ugh, you guys, we’re talking about my dad
Oh, that Moscow tryst
Well, if it isn’t Crooked Hillary, that loser Rosie O’Donnell, and
Stormi Daniels?
I hear she’s the dirtiest dancer at Pocahontas High
With an X-rated reputation
Ladies, time’s up!
This president is problematic!
He’s totally traumatic!
He’s a super callous, fragile racist who’s sexist and atrocious!
Not bad for an adult film star, huh?
He’s cheese frightening!
Hey, cheese frightening, you’re screwing our democracy
Cheese frightenin', ew, cheese frightenin'
Hey, cheese frightenin', I can’t with the hypocrisy
She’s persistent, bitch, we’re resistant
From sucking up to Putin and his Twitter tootin'
He’s a blowhard full of blabber
And a legend hooha-grabber
Cheese frightening
He’s the grand Cheeto in chief
For you, where’s the beef?
Bye, cheese frightening
Bye, bye, bye, bye
Cheese frightening
Whoo!
Ladies, look at you
You’re such strong, smart, capable women
Why do you let him do this to you?
Hillary, you just don’t get it
There is nothing I won’t do (La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la)
For my orange Donny-poo (La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la, ow)
Daddy’s goal is very plain (Bum, bum, bum)
Make America white again (Bum, bum, bum)
So he thinks I’m hot
Don’t you?
Trust there’s nothing we won’t do
For Trump’s tweets, I rationalize
Read my lips, not my dead eyes
In the pressroom, nine-to-five
Tryin' to keep this gig alive
They even call me «White House Shrew»
'Cause, bitch, there’s nothing I won’t do
Me too, me too, me too
Ladies, that was beautiful
Thank you, Omarosa
Oh, by the way, you’re fired
I’m hopelessly demoted… again?
I can’t believe I spent my whole life suckin' up to a TV star
What do I do now?
Oprah, Oprah, Oprah
Did someone say «Oprah?»
Isn’t it good to see me?
Hit it!
A tale that’s so obvi'
Supreme reality bitch O. G
Thirstiest ex-apprentice you could clock
A destiny all aflutter
Loved you on Celebrity Big Brother!
Forget about that anchor job over at FOX
White House ex-staffer
Goodbye to rides on Air Force One and Two
White House ex-staffer
Um, it’s not like I was fired
Girl, get a clue
Now you’ve got the dump from Trump the chump
Wake up and smell the tea
Just write a tell-all book
And hock it on TV
Don’t get mad, get everything
White House ex-staffer
Oprah, Oprah, Oprah
Miss Winfrey… Miss Winfrey…
Hi, guys, it’s me again, Betsy DeVos
Can you believe it? I’m still here
It’s almost the end of the school year
But unlike other coming-of-age stories
In this one, the girl doesn’t become a slut for some guy
She owns her sexual power, hmm-hmm-hmm
Hahaha, I still have no idea what I’m doing
Hahaha
Oh…
Donny, you’re back!
Hi, Donny!
Nice jacket, Trumpy
Forget about him, look at her!
Take a picture, it’ll last longer
When I fell for you, I was deluded
I put my hopes on a clown
But you lied, cheated, and colluded
Bitch, you’re gettin' booted
And I cutie-patoot it!
Ladies, gather 'round (Pow!)
Women have had enough
The glass ceiling shatters now
Ladies I’ve found (Pow! Pow!)
Powerful and tough
Join with me and make a sound
Yes, we’re down
It’s time we run this town
Power to the pussy
Ugh, finally
Goodbye, pussy bow
Hello, pussy hat
Ladies, this is a teaching moment
And you don’t have to do it alone
I can’t believe what I am saying right now, but listen to this
Let’s all start marching together! Haha!
Together we march
Fair treatment, equal pay
Remembered forever as
Pussy power, nasty women, radical feminists
Change, change
We need more women to run
The future is female
The future is female
The future is female (We're stronger)
The future is female (Together)
The future is female (We're stronger)
Together
The future is female!