Bits and Pieces

here we have the best remedy known for a man with a weak back bone
arm guard?
(joan) arm guard!
(charley) arm guard c links to upper arm arm piece d
now the shoulder guard works like a charm
presto chango, a strong right arm
let’s see now, lance rest e should be bolted to quiss
hand me a cuisse
(joan) uh, is this a cuisse?
(charley) no! that’s a twee
a lance on your cuisse, that’s the thigh pad, that’s this
well they couldn’t mean this
they must mean cuirass!
piece three j is connected to front piece k
of course it is, that’s the brayette
(joan) oh, uh, it’s behind you
(charley) this is one we do not forget!
let me see, hah, that’s the guard to protect the knee
(joan) war they tell me is hard on the knees
(charley) now the helmet and gauntlets please
a child could do it
(joan) nothing to it!
(charley) now i know why all knights are so bold
how could they run?
who could run when he’s wearing a ton, overbaked in the sun, in an oven for one?
i can’t move
(joan) if you only knew how it looks on you
(charley) you can fight in it
(joan) be knight in it
(charley) not too bad
(joan) overpowering!
(charley) galahad would be cowering!
(joan) and sir lancelot too!
(charley) who’s yer' lancelot!
(joan) come and stand by my side and my how grand
(charley) something died in it!
(joan + charley) armor does things for you!