Not Myself Today

I was ready to be grown-up
Just waiting for the day
And now I am freaking
Does mommy feel this way?
See, they think that I have answers
They look to me to guide
They see this old, old woman
But there’s a little girl inside
I’m not myself today
I’m in a funny way
I’m not the thing they think they see
This alpha mommy —
She’s not me
They want a woman I can’t be
And words that I can’t say
I’m not the woman
I thought I was
I’m not myself today
I had no idea a woman
Could feel so damn dismissed
They smile and call me «sweetheart»
Does Ellie feel like this?
See, if only they would listen
I could get the search on track
But when they hear me talking
They just think I’m talking back
I’m not myself tonight
And more than me is not right
Cause Fletcher’s lost
And so am I
It’s not that often bye the bye
I wish I were a six-foot guy
But I want to win this fight
I’m not the woman I need to be
I’m not myself tonight
If I had a kid
And the kid ran away
I’d hunt him down and kill him
My god! What a thing to say!
If I had a kid
And the kid ran away
I would find him
I would hold him
And then I’d kill him, okay?
I’m sorry, I’m not myself today!
Hey, are you okay?
Are you okay?
I’m not okay
What a day!
Even with all of this
Mess up between us
I thought I would do better
I thought I know the way
I mean, even as you
I’m a mess of a person
Can’t get my crap together
I’m also a mess I’d say
I’m not myself today!
I’m not myself today!
I’m not myself today!
I’m not myself
I’m not myself today!
(All three singing together incoherently)
I never felt so young and small
It breaks my heart
To hear them call
When there’s nothing I can say
I’m not the woman I thought I was
I’m not the woman I wish I’d be
I’m not myself today
I’m not myself today
Fletcher!
Fletcher!
Fletcher!