What Language Is That

We were in Mexico
And trying to learn
French!
Bonjour, bonsoir, d’accord
And he said, «Say that again?»
So I said, «Bonjour, bonsoir, d’accord.»
And he said, «Hm…okay. But let’s talk about the letter R, in English.»
«Errrr…»
In Español
«Grrrr…»
«But, the French R is in the back of the throat. You make a sound like you’re
gargling.»
«Grrrr…»
«Good, now, take out the vocal sound.»
«Hhhh…Hhhh…Hhhh…Hhhh…»
«Bonjour, bonsoir, d’accord.»
«Good. 'Good morning, good night, okay!' Now, let’s move on to 'vous êtes ici'.
If you’re ever lost on the Paris Metro, find a map on the wall and find where
it says 'vous êtes ici. That means, 'You are here.'»
And as soon as he said that, a bug flew down my throat, and got caught.
And I was trying to speak, and I was making a sound, and it sounded like…
«Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack!»
And he said, «Okay, but what language is that?»
And I remember thinking, «No, no, no. No, no no.»
You don’t understand!
You don’t understand!
You don’t understand!
«No, no.»
And the other day, this, friend of mine came up to me and said, «Hey man,
what’s up? Listen, you doin' okay? 'Cause you seem down. Kind of, depressed…
if you don’t, mind me saying.»
Well, I’ve had a great night’s sleep, sat for an hour at the zen center,
I’ve just written this song, I really liked. It was the first warm day of
spring. And I remember thinking…
What language is that?
You don’t understand!
You don’t understand!
You don’t understand!
And the other night, I was buying a book online and the screen said…
«Let's get to know you better
Please fill in the required fields
Did you see the Oscars?»
Woah, the Oscars happened already? Guess I missed 'em. Hey, wait a minute…
who won «Best Director»?
«Did you get something to eat?»
Yeah, I ate just now. That’s weird. Why do I feel hungry already?
«Do you smell something burning?»
«Now, let’s check your answers
Let’s see how you did
Did you see the Oscars?»
«You answered 'no', and I’m sorry, but the correct answer was 'yes',
you did see the Oscars»?
«Did you get something to eat?»
«Nah, you haven’t eaten in quite a while. Hm, better luck on the next one.»
«Do you smell something burning?»
«You do. Well, nothing’s on fire here… yet.»
And the other morning, I was late for work. Putting in my contact lenses,
and y’know what? They just did not want to stay in. Too painful.
So, I drove to work… without them! Crashing into trees, buildings,
and other cars along the way. And everyone with whom I came into, contact,
said…
«What language is that?»
No, no. You, you, you…
You don’t wanna know!
You don’t wanna know!
You don’t wanna know!
No, no. You, you, you…
You don’t wanna know!
You don’t wanna know!
You don’t understand!
No, no. You, you, you…
You don’t understand!
You don’t understand!
You don’t understand!
You don’t wanna know!
You don’t wanna know!
You don’t wanna know!
No, no. You, you, you…
You don’t wanna know!
You don’t wanna know!
You don’t understand!
No, no. You, you, you…
You don’t understand!
You don’t understand!
You don’t understand!
And if in my dream, and newspapers are printed on newspapers made of mirrors,
what does that mean? It means you’re always watching yourself, reading the
news. And if the next morning, I picked up the paper and there’s an article
saying that the Republican candidate is trying to create the perception that
the Democrat is weak, and the Democrat is trying to create the perception that
he’s a fighter, and if most of this article is about the perceptions the
candidates are trying to create, what does that mean? Now, I’m no
deconstructionist, but, it seems to me that’s pretty transparent.
Like if I was a bird, I would fly into it. It’s all about perception.
And suddenly, it hits me: this article is not about the candidates.
This article is about me. I mean, think about it: who’s doing the perceiving?
I am. And you too, well, if you’re reading the article. And then I turn on the
TV and, Paula’s on! And she’s talking about whether the Democrats' statements
are successful in making the Republicans' statements look like cynical
manipulations of the truth. And then suddenly, Larry’s there
And he’s asking, «Paula, what do you think? Is the public buying this?»
And, there’s a moment. It’s a tense moment… but it’s Paula’s moment.
But it’s not just her moment; it’s my moment too
I’m saying, «Paula, the nation turns its lonely eyes to you. Can you hear me?
I’m scared. I mean, I c⁠—can't tell the dancer from the dance anymore…»