Lloyd Webber: Letter Home

Mum, I’ve got a lot to tell you
Me and Joe have had a bust up
This will be the last letter with the postmark stamped NY
I’ve met a film producer
Please don’t laugh
His name is Sheldon
He’s what the people here all call a real together guy
He is off to California
And he wants me to go with him
Oh, thanks for your last letter
I was thrilled to hear from you
The pictures of Aunt Edna are all absolutely… lovely
And incidently Sheldon’s mum loves Mantovani too
Mum, you must ignore the neighbours
You just can’t stop Jason barking
You’ll become a nervous wreck, love
Just by listening to them
Sheldon has a house in Bel Air
Well, it’s really a pink mansion
It has electric gates and armed guards
And he calls it La Boheme
Sheldon says he’ll have no trouble
Getting me my blessed green card
And let’s face it, Mum, if he can’t
I would say that no one can
He plays squash with Casper… um, someone
He’s a senator from Utah
In Muswell Hill you just don’t come across this sort of man
Sheldon has a lot of meetings
Well, he’s terribly ambitious
He’s working on a musical
'Bout Rommel as a boy
Tell Dad I will be livid
If you spend two weeks in Folkestone
I know that La Boheme’s a place
That you will both enjoy