Effortless

I’m trying not to try so hard,
Makes me wonder if it’s really effortless,
Or if I’m fooling myself?
'Cause if I have to put so much of me Into trying not to care,
Where am I then?
I’m lying.
And do you see the way I walk away?
I never really know what I should say,
So it comes out wrong,
If it comes out at all.
So I straighten myself out,
I bring me back down,
«Don't be ridiculous,
You are so wrong.»
But then I’m drifting,
On a wave of thought.
I get lost in the tides,
And I can barely recognize myself.
I don’t mind,
'Cause do you see the way I walk away?
I never really know what I should say,
So it comes out wrong,
If it comes out at all.
So I try to act the way I would
If I was someone that wasn’t me.
But you wipe that away, don’t you?
And I am falling down,
I am tripping on words,
I am out of my mind.
You know, this is not like me.
I’m not usually happy, I swear.
And do you see the way I walk away?
I never really know what I should say
So it comes out wrong.
And I turn my back
And I don’t look back.
I am unafraid…
…but really I’m just kidding.
I’m terrified,
And I think I like it.
And I don’t care if I look ridiculous,
Trying to be effortless