The Painless Dentist Song

Reisman & His
Orchestra, from the movie «The Gay Divorcée»)
Beautiful molars…
Lovely bicuspids…
I’m Dr. Prentice, the painless dentist;
By that what’s meant is
It really doesn’t hurt
This is Miss Klinger; you’ve met her finger
So open wide, and Miss Klinger will squirt
Well, well, I say there
We’ve got decay there
Can’t let it stay there and cause you all that pain
So please Miss Klinger, remove your finger
And won’t you hand me down my Novocaine
It’s far worse than I thought it was;
My charge is gonna be large
Don’t be unwilling
It’s just a filling
I’m simply drilling to dig a little pit
Don’t fight Miss Klinger, or bite her finger
And now while I change the drill you can spit
I hum while you’re bleeding;
It takes your mind off
The things I grind off
Your gums are receding;
You’ll have to come back
We’ll build that gum back
And now if you will open wide
Miss Klinger’s gonna put her whole darn fist inside
That’s it… now it’s over
They’ll be a puffiness around your cheeks
You’ll have to eat soft food for three more weeks
And if you’ll kindly stop those ghastly shrieks
I’m through
Beautiful molars…
Lovely bicuspids…
By Dr. Prentice!